No 2

It's better than I never met them. Well they're okay at first but then when that girl came, everything crumbled. They totally ignore me and just continue their life. I don't know what I've done wrong with them because I don't think I've done anything. They said they're busy with work but they're having fun with their own. Perhaps I deserve a better friends than them. It's hurt me so much. Perhaps they're trying to tell me back off from them. Yeah, maybe that.

No. 1

Today is my mother's birthday. We planned to celebrate it together at a pizza restaurant. We went to buy things and then go to the restaurant to eat.

I'm happy to see her smiling, but then just because of a game, she's upset. I asked her if she making the things I want in the game and she said no.

Of course, I am upset with that but I dropped it because I want to celebrate her birthday. But not her. She suddenly got angry and said she wanted to go home. We ordered the foods some minutes ago. Well, the foods arrive late.

I tried to stop her but she slapped my hand away and go away from the restaurant. I sent her some messages and call her, asking her to come back but she didn't answer.

I lost my appetite and decide to take away the pizza. I search for her in the mall but couldn't locate her whereabouts. My sister sent her some messages and call her too. It take some time for her to answer back.

I tried to apologize to her in the car and back in the house but she won't listen. I don't know what to do. I want to cut my wrist and let it bleed. It would be better if I die. She won't get angry anymore.

I know it's my fault and I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. I am a coward. I want to cut myself but I'm scared. I want to jump off a building but I'm scared too. Am I don't even worth to live and to die?

Introduction

Hi. I'm yunan.

The purpose for creating this blog is to help me release some of my worries and whatever that make me depressed.

I never thought that I could be depressed a lot and I having some negative thoughts on myself. Sometimes I want to jump off a building or cut myself and I think I'm going crazy.

I don't have many friends and I don't know who to talk with. Parents? I don't want to talk about this to them as they are part of my source of depression.

I'll write another post about it then.

Till here,
Yunan.